A year ago, I almost died.

May 2nd 2017.

For those following this blog you know thay I cheated death a while back. Well yesterday marked the first year annviersary of the second worst day of my life.

I won’t go into details to explain what happened, if you want to you can read this post that explains what happened : how I almost died


All I know is that considering how bad my kidneys worst that I should have died or at least lose both of them. It did not happen. I can’t explain how or why and my surgeon and gp can’t either. All I know is that I’m here today and I’m here to stay.

This past year has been the worst of my life but also the best.

The worst because until very recently I would go to the hospital every 4-6 weeks and usually stay a few days.

As much as I love the nurses and the Doctors, there is nothing that depresses me more than being stuck in a hospital bed.

People think ” well you’re not working and as long as you’re not in too much pain you could read books, watch movies, listen to music or do whatever you never get to do when your life is so busy with work.”

Well, in my experience that’s not realistic.

Being in the hospital, at least for me means being waken up every day at 7 am for blood work, then waiting for my surgeon to visit me, then waiting for lunch, then for more test, and so on every single day. It is the most depressing routine I have had.

The last time I was in the hospital was back in January and luckily I did not need surgery but the wait was excruciating. I knew what I had (UTI) but it took like 3 days to confirm it and then a couple of days for me to be able to go home(they wouldn’t let me go home until the pain was gone).

I will need bi-annual visit with my surgeon for the rest of my life and regular scans to check if the stones have grown back and also regular tests for every other medical issue that was discovered while I was going through this.

The past year has not been easy but it was also the greatest of my life.

I have learned more about life itself and myself in a yeae than I did in my entire life.

It may sound like a cliche but I lean to enjoy life more, to fight for what I wanted, to not just passive and wait for things to happen.

I learned to not anything for granted.

For the first time in my life I work at a company where I can see myself growing as a professional and a human being.

I guess, I’m happy, truly happy for the first time in my life.

I have personnal and professional goals that I want to achieve and now because I have that will and rage that almost dying gave me, I know that I can do this. I have ideas, I have a plan, I have a support system. I have everything I need to have the life that I always wanted but was always too afraid to evne dream of.


So yeah, I should have died just a year ago but I did not and I’m grateful I did not.

I never thought my life had much meaning, that I was making a difference into this world, but I now know that I do and that there is so much more I can accomplish.

Yes, I know, one of those things should be to update this blog more often, especially since I’ve got so many new subscribers.

I promise I will pay more attention to this blog and the FI community because despite loving my current job I still plan to retire in the next 10 years if possible and would like to document this process as much as possible.

I do have dozens of ideas for posts but have no time or the physical strength to work on them.

I know, I won’t be able to use the ” I’m still recovering and I do get very tired” excuse much longer.

Right now I have decided to focus on my carreer and invest in it but I will make an extra effort to try to multitask.
If you have any questions or suggestions feel free to drop me a line on facebook/twitter/mail.

By the way guys, how did you find me?




Author: expatonfire

I'm a 33 year old french woman and I currently live in Ireland. A few months back I had a near death experience that pushed me to reconsider the way I was living my life and to seriously think about my future, no more excuse and postponing things!

4 thoughts on “A year ago, I almost died.”

  1. I’ve passed a kidney stone, I know how excruciating the pain is. I also have a couple autoimmune diseases so I can relate to the in pain everyday state. But you’re alive, optimistic, and hopeful – that is fantastic. I’m not assuming your beliefs, but I believe God has a plan for you. Sure, you can see divinity in almost everything and especially life/death situations. But to have optimism through such adversity and a zest for life looks like His work.


    1. Hi! I am and atheist but my cardiologist said the same thing. It does not make me want to believe in God. I do believe my dad saved me. I felt his presence right before my second surgery( h’s been dead for 15 years). So yeah I believe in ghosts but not god! Lol! The pain is horrible but UTI’s are worst IMO!


  2. Wow, I had no idea you were having such a rough time! Thanks for sharing such a personal story. I’m glad things are looking better for you and that you’re feeling optimistic about the future. All the best!


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